Don’t Harsh My Mellow, Bro
I won’t give too much away, but I am going to school. I’m going to be something when I grow up. I’m very excited about it. It’s a real career, and not a massage therapist. When I first started back to school I was talking to the pastor’s wife and she told me I should talk to another mom there that had the same career. I had already been in school I think 8 months at this point.
So last Saturday night at church, Shelby and I happened to walk out at the same time as this woman. I introduced myself, even though we had met in passing, and she said of course she remembered me and she reminded me of her name, which is rhymes with Schmaren. I told her that I was going to school and I thought she was in the same field. When I told her what school I was going to she said, “Get out now. Don’t do it, get out now”.
Apparently she had gone to the same school and graduated and is working in the field, but didn’t have the best experience with it. She went on and on about how bad it was for her and how long it took her and how she had trouble finding a job. I know everyone has an opinion, and I did ask for it, but she did all this in front of my daughter. I don’t know where she should have squashed my dream, but it didn’t occur to me that it would be there. She kept saying over and over that she didn’t mean to burst my bubble. Too late.
I was quiet all night. Watching Twilight helped (it helps everything), but I kept going over and over what she had said. I finally said something to my sister about it and she told me that my experience is not Schmaren’s experience and my experience will be different. I have to trust that “different” in my case is going to be better. I feel like I’m where I’m at for a reason and I’m not opposed to moving once I finish school. I know the job market here is more slim because the school is here, but I knew that going in. I thought about this for a long time, I prayed about it, but I came out of that conversation very discouraged.
I can’t quit now, I’ve been in for a year and a quarter. I can’t show my kids that when it gets tough, when we’re discouraged, or when there’s a differring opinion that we just quit. What kind of example would that be? It’s not like I’m quitting my real job until I get a job in my new profession, I’m definitely going to be smart about it. I just wish I would have come out of that conversation feeling better. I didn’t want her to lie to me or anything, of course I wanted her to be honest, but couldn’t she have found anything good to say?
Here’s the real problem. I’m not a finisher, I’ve always been a quitter. I’ve already started getting discouraged with myself because of my focus and discipline, and I just needed to hear something good to not be so discouraged. I’m on a break next week and off to Oklahoma so I will hopefully come back refreshed and ready to keep plugging along.