A Little Something About my Kasey
Kasey is my middle child. I’ve said before that she’s quietly suffering with middle child syndrome. I believe it’s real, she sometimes thinks she’s invisible. Behind her big, beautiful brown eyes is a lot of anger and bitterness that shouldn’t be in a 10-year-old.
She is the product of a pathological liar and someone that hasn’t always told the truth. She never really had a chance, she’s me as a child. She’s absolutely the most like me out of all of them. Last year she went three months telling me she didn’t have homework when she really did. Three months!! I don’t lie anymore as a rule because what kind of example would I be, they really do watch everything you do and say.
I’ve always heard this, but you absolutely have to parent them all differently. Here’s what I try to do with Kasey. When she tells me something, I don’t freak out and yell at her. Last week she said she had to sit in the hall for talking, which was my entire elementary school career, how can I fault her? Did I want to yell at her for talking in class? Maybe not yell, but I definitely don’t want her to do it again (good luck with that, she IS my daughter). So I thanked her for telling me and told her to try not to talk in class, and she told me how scared she was to tell me but that she didn’t want to lie to me. Now I know next time (and there will be a next time) she’ll tell me because I didn’t freak out, and then we can work on her talking in class.
Yesterday she went to the monkey’s right after school and ended up leaving her homework. She called him immediately on his cell phone and told him. He drove back over, without said homework and yelled at her for 20 minutes on how irresponsible she was for leaving her homework. Then he drove home (2 whole miles), got her homework, came back and yelled at her some more. It turned into yelling at her about her room somehow. My heart broke for her because I know how hard it was to have to call him back and tell him that she’d forgotten it. He tells them they need to talk to him, but they’re all afraid because he’ll yell at them.
What’s the answer? I have no idea. She’s so mad at him and I’m tired of telling her to give him another chance, but I do. I never say bad things and I tell her he’s really trying. I pray he’s really trying, that’s all I can do. So he called me today to make sure she’d cleaned her room, and I ended up yelling at him about what a hard time she’s having and to maybe give her a little bit of a break when she forgets something, that she felt bad enough already and it’s not like she did it on purpose; and furthermore, her room was none of his business because he doesn’t live here and anything in this house I will take care of. I made him cry. It’s wrong, but I did feel a little better.