Here’s your shirt…
Let me start by saying that I’m not a big fan of Jeff Foxworthy and his “here’s your sign” comedy. It was funny at first being that I was (am) a redneck, but I think it’s been effed out and has gotten old. I would, however, like everyone to wear their flaws on a shirt.
You can picture it, right? Like my monkey walking around with a black t-shirt, white lettering: “Pathological liar that will waste 18 + years of your life”. Okay, that’s wordy, but “Pathological Liar” would have been just fine.
Some other random choices: “No Sense of Humor”, “Hates Kids”, “Only Pretends to Believe”, “Sir Cheats Alot”, “Unable to Commit”, “I Live with My Mother”, “Divorced with Three Kids” (oh wait, that’s me); “Only Good for One Night Stands”, “Allergic to Work”, “I Date my Cousins” (that one might be too inside and I’ve found you don’t actually have to be a redneck), “No Cash/No Car”, I could go on and on.
You could even go with the layered look if more than one of them works for you, or use the back of your shirt if there’s runover. This would make it easier to find the good ones, and I pray there are good ones.