Who Wants to be Hard Core?

I wish I was hard core.  I’m kind of a lazy exerciser.  I mean I’ll do it, but it usually always involves Heather calling me and telling me we’re going for a walk and what time to meet her.  One of the things I didn’t like in my marriage is that I was always in charge.  Where we ate, when bills got paid, etc.  I used to dream about finding someone that would take care of me instead of me always being in charge.  So I found Heather, but she has a husband and kids to take care of, so she only sets up the walks.  I’m still looking for someone that will take care of everything else.

We went to Red Rocks when my sister was here. 

Me and the Girls at Red Rocks

I always forget about that place, but it’s relatively close and free.  You really can’t beat it.  People are always there working out, and then I found THIS (click on Routine) and decided I HAVE to do this one day.  It’s a workout program at Red Rocks and it’s Saturday and Sunday 9-12 and Wednesday evenings, again, it’s free.  It’s hard core.  I want to be hard core.  I want to run a half marathon in May.  I told my sister if she found out when the Detroit half marathon was then I’d fly out there and do it with her.  Wouldn’t you like to do something hard core?

I’m not there yet, but I’m trying.  That has to count for something.  More than anything, I wish I would have started this when I was younger and then wouldn’t have to work so hard now that I’m almost 40.  Ugh!  40?  Inconceivable, right?  I know!!

How Would Bob Harper Train Me?

What’s the craziest thing you’ve done?  Like beyond your physical limits, or have you always lived within your comfort zone on the couch as I have?  I don’t like to be uncomfortable in any situation.  I did do a Sprint Tri, and that was WAY outside my comfort zone; but what I’m thinking of doing is so much farther out, I don’t even know if it’s possible.

It’s a half marathon.  It’s running/jogging/walking/crawling 13 miles.  I know that with my body type I need to constantly be training for something or I’ll stop moving and regain the weight I’ve lost this year.  It’s also a good way to keep losing the weight I need to, it’s a staggeringly high number that I wish was coming off faster. 

On The Biggest Loser they lose a ton of weight per week, but they work out 8 to 10 hours a day.  I have a job, three kids, school, etc.   I can’t work out 8 to 10 hours per day, I barely work in an hour a day, BARELY, and it’s certainly not every day.  I wish I had a job where I could work out all day, but I don’t.  I have a desk job in my basement.    Why can’t Bob just come live with me and make me work out every day?  I love me some Bob.

But since Bob has other commitments, I just have to do it myself.   Or actually with Heather.  She did the sprint tri with me and is very excited to start making me train for something new that doesn’t have anything to do with swimming.  I’d still like to do the sprint tri next year, but I think she’s out.  So we’re moving on up to the Colfax Half Marathon on May 17, 2010, the day after my baby turns 10.

Fall Season Update

I love the Fall.  So far, I’ve made no bad decisions  (yet), the weather has been awesome, and I’m looking on the bright side of all the financial issues  I’m having.  Although I did have to cancel our fall break trip to Arizona.  You’ll also be surprised to learn that I actually watched a football game.  Well, half of one, and OU ended up getting beat by Texas.  But I watched nonetheless.

I get on these kicks like no TV Monday through Thursday, chore lists, church, exercising, etc.  Church has been a big winner in my house and we’ve been going consistently for three and a half years.  I love our church and our lives are better since we started going.  The chore list, however, went the way of the dodo since I can’t afford an allowance and no one was doing it anyway.  The exercise plan (Operation Get Moving) has been going for 10 months strong, and I’m on my 12th week of working out in the morning.  I know you’re sick of hearing it, but it has to be said so I don’t quit.

My new kick is slow cooking.  I love my crock pot.  I go through a ton of recipes online looking for stuff to make in my crock pot and I love planning meals.  There’s just something about putting a meal in the crock pot in the morning and having it come out at dinner time completely done that makes me feel like a little homemaker.  It’s always so good.  I’ve made lasagna, ravioli, swiss steak (not a hit at my house) and beef tips and potatoes.  Oh, and a chocolate pudding cake.  Yes, you heard me.  I’m not proud, but it was delish.

My other kick is tennis.  I love playing tennis.  My sister and I have been playing since we were kids walking up to the water plant in the summer to play.  I wonder now if we even thought to take water.  Shelby and I rode our bikes to the court Sunday after church and played for almost two hours.  This was after playing for two hours on Saturday.  I’m so sore today, but also feel good.  I really love that Shelby is almost good enough to where we can actually play and not have to chase balls so much.  It’s surprisingly hard to find someone at your level to play.  A few years ago I was playing all the time with my friend, Danielle.  I think that’s what I miss most about her, she could keep up with my mad tennis skillz.

As for the other reason that this is my favorite time of the year:  the start of the Fall Television Season.  That will have to be another blog.  But let me just say this:  I’m enjoying Flash Forward very much, I don’t understand why Christian Slater can’t get on a good series, and I don’t know why Castle is still working with the police department even after his book has been published.  I’ll be back for more of the rest of my Fall Television Favorites.

How Full is Your Glass?

I try to be glass half full.  It’s exhausting really.  I’m dealing with two (three with me) very hormonal girls.  Lindsey’s too young and she’s almost too sunny, if you can imagine.  I love her.  Oh, except when she’s tired.  I mean I still love her, but she’s certainly not sunny.  I wonder how she’s going to be when she’s hormonal. 

Since I’ve been walking so much this year, I’ve been trying to get the girls involved in it and taking them on some fun family walks.  Like going to McD’s for ice cream, which is three miles round trip; going to the other McD’s and the dollar store, which is also three miles.   We have several places mapped out on my new obsession www.mapmyrun.com.  Tomorrow we’re walking to Wendy’s for lunch, it’s 3.5 miles round trip.  We live in the most awesome location and there is a bike path right down from us, which we affectionately refer to as Coyote Ugly since we’ve seen several coyotes walking in the trees by the river.  You can go anywhere in the city on that path.  I have a map of the city’s bike paths, and we highlight the places we’ve been on there.

Did you know that I live in a place that has more sunny days than Florida?  We have beautiful weather and can spend so much time outside and away from the TV.  But when I have a grouchy, hormonal 13 year old it’s hard to get anyone motivated for a three mile walk, especially me.  It’s hard enough for me to get motivated to get up, let alone everyone else when I’m dealing with that.  Except Lindsey.  She’s always the first one that wants to go with me.  She wants to ride her bike next to me and share my headphones while telling me to keep up and get moving.  She’s my little personal trainer when Heather’s not here.

That was the story with today.   Shelby didn’t want to go.  She did want to go, she was just taking a bad attitude with her, which I told she could leave at home.  So not only did she leave her bad attitude at home, she left her whole self.  Fine by me.  But as we started on our family walk with a fractured family, it just didn’t seem right.  Kasey, Lindsey, and I had so much fun going to the McD’s, and the Walgreens, then the Dollar Tree; but there was someone missing.  We were there walking around, no real agenda.  There’s something so freeing about being out there with no car and no worries, just walking around.  Once I’m out there I love it, but getting out there is where the problem lies.  I do enjoy walking to a location rather than just walking.  I like to have a purpose, I’m a multi-tasker.

Shelby told me she just needs a little push to get out and then she’s fine.  I’ll let you know how tomorrow goes.

Going Through the Big “D” and Don’t Mean Dallas

This is not going to be nearly as good as my cousin Cari’s testimony.

I started dating the monkey in October of 1990.  That was one of my bad decisions made in the Fall.  We were married in December 1993.  I was 22 and WAY too young to be getting married.  Seriously, what was I thinking?  I wanted to be married, I wanted to have a family.  I’ve always loved the idea of marriage:  growing old with someone, sitting on the front porch watching our grandchildren play.  Unfortunately I skipped to the front porch part in our ’70’s and should have been thinking more about how a marriage works; and more importantly, how it would work being married to a monkey that I was completely incompatible with.

The monkey moved out for good on January 1, 2005, which happened to be one of the worst days of my life as it was the day we told the girls he wasn’t going to live there anymore.  It took two more years to make it final.  On the day of my divorce, the monkey asked me, begged me really, for three more months.  He was already living with her, but wanted three more months to see if it would work out or not and then he’d come back to me.  Or so he thought.  Seriously?  I don’t think so.  I remember walking out of that courthouse with him and him crying that he didn’t understand why I couldn’t give him three more months.  It was already over and he’d sucked the last 15 years out of my soul, I didn’t want to give him one more day.

My divorce was final in 2007–April 12, 2007 to be exact.  The day after, my sister sent me a dozen giant chocolate dipped cookies.  YUM!  The next week I started working from home.   Three months later I had gained 20 pounds and was the heaviest I’d ever been.  Ugh!  I realized that every time I was bored, I would go upstairs to the kitchen.  Every time I needed help with something and couldn’t get ahold of anyone in the office, I went to the kitchen.  I would make brownies on my break.   It was out of control.  My boss was afraid I would become too reclusive and be lonely, it didn’t occur to me that my problem with working at home would be weight gain.  Add working at home to my depression and it could have been a lethal combination.

In 2008, I started back to school to try and get my life back on track, but my weight was still out of control.  I’d gotten a small handle on it and lost that 20 pounds, but it still wasn’t good.  At the beginning of 2009, I had a revelation that I was going to be going on a cruise with a LOT of walking in May, and then there was the fact that I was turning 38 in June, and there was also a 20 year reunion hanging out there somewhere.  Wow, 38.  So my stats were as follows:  almost 38, overweight, single mom to three girls.  I felt like the “WINNER” banner was flashing over my head.  I started working out.  Seriously working out.  Eat less, move more.  There really isn’t a magic solution. 

About five months into 2009, my fog of depression started to lift.  I actually feel better now than I have in a really, really long time.  Some of it is the fact that I’ve managed to lose 45 pounds this year alone, for a total of 65 pounds from that awful time in 2007.  I finished a sprint triathlon and a 10k this year at 38.  I would like to run a half marathon next year, that’s 13 miles.  I’m also planning on two sprint tri’s next year.  It’s truly amazing how much better it feels to be moving.   Just simply moving.  I pray that I can remember how good I feel right now if, God forbid, I ever decide I want to stop moving.

Disregard if You Don’t Want a Downer

What do you think causes depression?  Is it a chemical imbalance that you’re born with or is it something that everyone deals with, some better than others?  Should everyone that feels depressed be medicated? 

I’ve found over the years that I’m anti-medication.  I barely remember my vitamins every day.  I don’t like the idea of having to take something every single day.  One, because I don’t remember; but two, what’s the underlying reason that you’re having to take something every day.  Can that be addressed?

I just did something really amazing.  I ran/walked/crawled a triathlon.  I’ve been talking about it forever, so I’m sure you’ve heard about it.  I overshare, overtalk, get overexcited about everything, it’s depressing.  Back to the point, I did this on Sunday and feel really great about the fact that I finished it and didn’t die.  And then the pictures came out.  The “professional” pictures that are online for all to see the gigantic girl that finished the triathlon while being dragged by her skinny friend over the finish line.  Then I thought, if I looked that bad now, can you imagine how I looked 40 pounds ago?   I’m sure you remember.  *shudder*

I have my own version of body dysmorphic disorder where I can’t tell how big I really am.  In my mind I’m just a little overweight, pleasantly plump if you will, not morbidly obese, on death’s door as those pictures would indicate.  Ugh!  My mom said the camera adds 20 pounds, but not to each thigh.  My only saving grace is that they didn’t get an action shot of me coming out of the water in my swimsuit.  I’d have to be talking to the suicide hotline about that one.  As it is, I’m blowing one of them up where I’m panting and putting it on my refrigerator.  That should certainly do the trick!