Last year when I finished my Christmas shopping, it was a month early and I had no one to share it with. This year I finished my Christmas shopping only three days before and I went with Heather. I have a few things that I’m waiting for to arrive, but I don’t have to go to another store.
Every year I have a standing rule that I don’t go to the store on Christmas Eve. It’s just my own preference because I feel like there are enough people there on Christmas Eve, they don’t need me there. Mostly, I don’t have the patience for it. And besides that, I’m usually just trying to get to church on time, I don’t have time to be waiting in a line for something I should have already gotten.
So, I’m done with my shopping and that includes stocking stuffers. Also, including the groceries for the things I’m taking to Cindi’s on Christmas Eve. I can’t wait! I’m on it this year.
I was working with a list, but I’ll probably realize I’ve forgotten a million things. For now, however, I’m working on the assumption that I’m done. Now I just need to go sort and wrap.
We started going to church about four years ago. I was looking for a church for my family and my cousin Cindi was so nice to go church shopping with us. After the first church of “blue-hairs” (Cindi’s words, not mine), I went with her to the church by her house and loved it. It was a change for us, and Lindsey cried every week except the one week a month that Cindi worked in the kindergarten. I knew we’d turned a corner when she cried because we didn’t go.
Shortly after, Cindi gave me a CD of Christian music and it had I Can Only Imagine. I’m embarrassed to say I think it was my first time to hear it. I explained to the girls what it’s about, and we had a great conversation about what we would do when we found ourselves in front of Jesus. I’m sure I don’t have to explain to you why it’s such a great song.
One day we were on our way home from church and we were listening to I Can Only Imagine and I said I wanted that song played at my funeral. (I know I’m not original) So here’s the exchange that followed:
Me: I want this to be my funeral song. long pause……. Shelby: Can I sing it? um…… Me: Won’t you be too sad to sing at my funeral? short pause.. Shelby: No, I don’t think so. Kasey: Can I play the drums? Lindsey: Can I play piano? long pause…… Me: This is my funeral, not American Idol. And now you guys have a band?
Then my dad died, and guess who had a video montage to I Can Only Imagine? I don’t have to guess because I made it, and I heard that song probably a hundred times. At first I had to turn it down and just watch the pictures go, but I’ll never forget sitting in an empty church with my sister as they played the full montage on the big screen. It was a “dress rehearsal” because we’d heard a horror story about someone’s slide show that didn’t play the music. Afterwards people came up and said it was the best memorial service ever, which made me wonder what the other ones were like. I’m sure if Sherri and I wanted to move to Arizona we could have gone into the funeral video-making business right there on the spot in Goodyear. Thanks, but no thanks.
My dad lived in Colorado for over 20 years so on his birthday we had another memorial service for him in Colorado. My girls were in Michigan with my mom when he passed, but they were able to go to the second service. They each got up and said something, it was both the sweetest and most heart-wrenching thing I’ve ever experienced. Lindsey broke down halfway through and started crying. Afterwards Shelby said she wasn’t singing at my funeral anymore. Kasey said, “I’ll do it.”, and Lindsey said, “Can I still play the piano?”. I love those kids.
When we hear it on the radio, I’ve finally gotten to where I don’t start crying on the first three notes, but Shelby turns it every time and Lindsey goes to another room when they sing it at Sunday school. We have the same problem with Chris Tomlin’s Amazing Grace. Yeah, we had two musical montages because we’re ambitious like that. We actually had three because we had a montage of pictures he took for when people came into the church and afterwards during the lunch. Don’t be a hater.
Here are the videos. The name and dates have been removed to prevent the identity theft. Also, my advice for you when planning your funeral is to make your montage before you go. It’s so much easier on your family.
Have you ever just been driving along, feeling kind of down, and a song comes on the radio that really touches your heart? I’m very eclectic when it comes to music in that I like a lot of different kinds, which is the definition of eclectic. If you were to steal my iPod (I hope you don’t), you wouldn’t be able to tell my favorite music. You might be thrown by how much Toby Keith I have on there, but it’s an Oklahoma thing.
I was on my way to school one day and a new song came on KLOVE and it made me stop in my tracks. Not stop on the highway, but metaphorically stop in my tracks. It’s by Sanctus Real and it doesn’t even come out until like March, but there it was on the radio just for me (and the millions of other people who listen). Okay, so it may not have been just for me, but it was exactly what I needed to hear. Just read the last two lines: When I don’t measure up to much in this life, Oh, I’m a treasure in the arms of Christ. This song is my anthem. This is the song that should play when I win my blogging award (Huh?). I really can’t build it up enough.
Here’s the video of them singing it live; and if you can’t watch it, the lyrics are listed underneath. Or you can click here to hear the audio. It may not be what you needed to hear today, but it’s sure what I need to hear every day. Seriously, you cannot NOT love this song, which is a double negative way of saying I hope you love it. And not for nothing, but the lead singer is pretty cute too.
Well the past is playing with my head
And failure knocks me down again
I’m reminded of the wrong
That I have said and done
And that devil just wont let me forget
In this life
I know what I’ve been
But here in your arms
I know what I am
I’m forgiven
I’m forgiven
And I don’t have to carry
The weight of who I’ve been
Cause I’m forgiven
My mistakes are running through my mind
And I’ll relive my days, in the middle of the night
And I struggle with my pain, wrestle with my pride
Sometimes I feel alone, and I cry
In this life
I know what I’ve been
But here in your arms
I know what I am
I’m forgiven
I’m forgiven
And I don’t have to carry
The weight of who I’ve been
Cause I’m forgiven
When I don’t fit in and I don’t feel like I belong anywhere
When I don’t measure up to much in this life
Oh, I’m a treasure in the arms of Christ ‘Cause
I’m forgiven
I’m forgiven
And I don’t have to carry
The weight of who I’ve been
Cause I’m forgiven
It’s the most wonderful time of the year. With the kids jingle belling and everyone telling you be of good cheer…..wait, my kids don’t jingle bell. There’s absolutely no jingle belling at my house. What does that even mean?
The teen years are brutal at our house, and I only have one of them so far. Can you imagine what my house is going to be like when I have three teenagers? You might want to stay away if the first one is any indication of what life is going to be like.
So we put up our tree two weeks ago, but hadn’t had time to decorate so we ended up doing it this weekend. I had a gift card to Starbucks so I told them if there was absolutely no fighting bickering then I’d get them Starbucks afterward. SUCCESS!! And on to Starbucks we went. I ordered an eggnog frappuccino, and it was seriously the best thing I’ve ever had there. It was a special order and let’s just say I’m glad they don’t have eggnog drinks all year or I’d be in trouble.
the girls actually getting along
Then Sunday came and it was time to get our Christmas shopping done. At least the part that has to be mailed this week. Shelby isn’t a fan of shopping. I’m actually not a fan of shopping. I didn’t get the workaholic gene like my sister did, and I didn’t get the shopaholic gene like my dad had. Shelby especially doesn’t like shopping if it’s not for her. Then the problem is that she’s unbearable when she’s unhappy. Annoyingly unbearable. What made me mad is that part of the shopping was for her gift exchange at school, you’d think she’d be in a better mood.
My problem in the past (read Friday night) is that I have really high expectations. I have great ideas for my family. For instance, Lindsey had a birthday party on Friday night at the Color me Mine in Southlands. So I came home and got Kasey and Shelby to take them to Paradise Cafe for hot chocolate and cookies. On they way there they started fighting. It involved someone interrupting someone and Shelby completely shut down and refused to speak. Then when we got there, she walked 6 feet behind us with her arms crossed. Also, things obviously weren’t going my way because Paradise closed early that night so there was no hot cocoa or cookie. This was no Norman Rockwell night for me.
So today for shopping, my expectations were incredibly low. I was prepared for a Shelby mood, and therefore, she didn’t completely ruin our day. I know my family days are numbered and that terrifies me. I want to keep them as long as I can because I know at some point, Shelby won’t just be snotty on family outings, she won’t want to go at all. And that makes me so sad that the time is coming for that.
I want to keep my family together, happy, and getting along for as long as possible. So sue me.
It’s December 10th. I know when you read this it will actually be December 11th, but 16 years ago on December 10th I got married. Why oh why did I ever do that? Oh, I remember it was to go on and have three great girls. I was only 22, so young, too young in my opinion. The day went by with no fanfare, which is right. The anniversary to “celebrate”, if you will, is April 8th when my divorce was final. There’s really no celebration on either front though, just another day.
My daughter started a food fight today. A food fight. A food fight? Um…yeah. Her teacher was handing out letters when I went to pick her up. Had she won some sort of award? But I could tell by the look on Kasey’s face that it was no award. We have to rush on Thursdays so I told her to tell me in the car. As I’m opening the letter, she asked if she could explain. The first sentence I saw on the letter was “Kasey started a food fight at lunch today”, and I gasped so loud I think all the oxygen was sucked out of the car. All I could think about was the food fights you see in movies where the food is just flying. I started looking for mashed potatoes in her hair.
My first reaction was to laugh, but I caught myself and I didn’t. Not that there was anything funny about her getting in trouble, but I just couldn’t help thinking how ridiculous it was that my daughter started a food fight. So she explained that she was being silly and threw a raisin that landed on the boys’ table, and they threw something back, and then the girls threw something else, etc. It went on a very short time and Kasey only threw the first thing, but she did in fact start it.
This was the first time she’s ever gotten in trouble like that where they had to notify me. She was destroyed. She was so upset, she was crying. However, not only did the letter say she’d started the food fight, they said she was disrespectful to a staff member and she didn’t go where they told her to so they said she was hiding to avoid punishment. Hiding? Really? Where’s she going to go? That’s what I thought, but what I said was how disappointed I was in her and that she had better not ever get in trouble like that again. She’s grounded, she had to write an apology letter to the principal, and she has to do extra homework every night. Plus she has to work in the cafeteria during her recess until Christmas break.
Some days my house is actually boring. Today was not one of those days. Nothing like a good old-fashioned food fight to keep things interesting. Anyone want to come over for dinner?
It’s a quote from Steel Magnolias. No one, and I mean NO.ONE.should watch that movie nine months pregnant with no idea for a girls name. She could have come out a Clarice or Annelle, but she didn’t. She’s my Shelby. There I was sitting on the bed, living with my in-laws *shudder*, tears streaming down my face……wait, that’s not the blog I was planning.
I promised myself I wasn’t going to have a complainy blog, but I sometimes let my emotions get the best of me. This complainy blog is about the stupid monkey and his troop* that have no sense of family at all. His parents (aka my kids’ grandparents) live 30 minutes away from us, but my parents, who live 12 hours away, see my kids more than his parents ever dreamed. Why? Do you think that a male’s parents are less likely to be closely involved with grandchildren than the female’s parents? Is it because girls are generally closer to their moms that her parents are more involved, or does it just depend on the grandparents?
Now, in all fairness to them, I have their third, fourth, and fifth granddaughters, they might just be done with his offspring. But that makes me sad because everyone is missing out. My girls have family out there that they could be close to if only his parents had some sort of interest in them. The monkey has never been close to his family other than his mom and dad. Never. They never had family reunions, never got together for holidays, they were never close; which made it weird for me when he started dating his cousin, because it never occurred to me that he actually had a cousin. Yeah, he does.
The only activity of the girls the monkey’s mom comes to is something that I’ve guilted her into. When I make a big deal about how his parents live 30 minutes away and yet never see the girls, then she comes through. But should I have to guilt her into coming to her granddaughter’s baptism (which she didn’t) or a piano recital or something?
What’s weird is that it hasn’t always been that way. She used to watch them every Friday when we were married and shortly after, but she just disappeared from their lives. I find it so odd that they CAN see them anytime they want, I’ve been very clear about that, so they just choose not to. It would be nice to have someone to count on for appointments and such, they’re their grandparents for Pete’s sake, but they’re absent, just a void in the girls’ lives.
So a great-grandpa died that Shelby met once when she was an infant. Because he lived in another state? No, no, because he lived downtown, which is about 30 minutes away. And when the monkey found out his grandpa was sick, he dropped the girls off because he couldn’t deal with them and wanted to spend time with his family. Yeah, I guess that didn’t include his kids.
Moral of the story is to enjoy the family you have, spend time with the family that lives close to you and go out and make some family…..because sometimes you really need family.
*A group of monkeys is called a troop. Bet you didn’t know that.
Note from the Blogger: If you don’t watch Mad Men, thanks for stopping by, but you can disregard. I hope we can still be friends.
Finally, FINALLY, I got through this season of Mad Men. I would say SPOILER ALERT, but if you haven’t seen it by now, you’re probably not going to see it.
Before I start, I have to say that I have loved John Slattery, who plays Roger Sterling, since he was Will’s brother on Will & Grace. I love a silver fox. And in a weird “how would you remember that?” trivia way, he’s married to a woman who married and divorced George Clooney, Talia Balsam. She plays Mona, his ex-wife on the show. Sometimes I think of how smart I’d be if I didn’t have all this useless “knowledge” in my head.
Anyway……It took me forever to get through this season because I haven’t had a lot of time, but Sunday I took a nap and therefore, was up all night. As I’m sitting there feeling so bad for Don Draper, I wonder why I feel so bad that his wife ultimately left him, but didn’t feel all that bad for her when he was being…well, Don Draper. In all his Don Draperness, I never really felt bad for her. Isn’t that weird? Shouldn’t I have been up cheering for her when she finally got the nerve to leave him, even if it was only to be with another man? I wasn’t. I felt so bad for him all alone in that room. Now, he deserved it. Seriously. But she only left him because she had the support and promise of another man. She would have never left him on her own.
I think that’s true in the world today too. My monkey only left me because he had somewhere else to go, and he’ll only leave her when he finds someone else to go to. That makes me sad, not for him, but for all the wasted time.
I know that Mad Men is based in the ’60’s but I can still remember feeling like I was the ONLY person with divorced parents and that was in the mid-’70’s. I know that divorce wasn’t widely heard of in Mad Men-time so I’m surprised they finally let Betty leave, but I still can’t help feeling bad for Don in all his Don Draperness.
What is it about that guy? What is it about that show? When I went to see (500) Days of Summer there was a commercial for this season in the previews and the random girl next to me said something about it to her boyfriend and I said something and we talked until the movie started about how good that show was. It was before this season started when Peggy told Pete she had his baby and gave it up for adoption. That was seriously the best scene of last season. I could feel her pain through the TV screen. I’m not kidding you, Peggy rocks!
We can pause for a moment as you think to yourself (or say out loud) that I’m too involved. I know. That could have been my disclaimer instead of the spoiler alert. I know I’m too involved. I know I need some semblance of a life. I’m very self-aware. But just wait until I post my blog about this season’s Grey’s Anatomy or Flash Forward. And try to stop me when I finally see Season Five of LOST on December 8th or when the final season starts in February. You can disregard if you like, or you can indulge me in my escapes.
So they ended with Betty on a plane to get a quickie divorce in Reno with her new man that I felt like she didn’t really know very much about. He has grown kids and is quite a bit older than she is and she and Don have really young kids. It just seemed odd to me that she picked him. Is he really that great of a guy? And are they going to continue with her character even though she’s no longer with Don? I guess we’ll see. I’d certainly rather have January Jones on Mad Men than a regular on SNL, so if it’s up to me she can stay.
And if I were to say something directly to the creators of Mad Men, I would say that waiting for a whole year to see the next season just isn’t going to work for me. And even though I’ll have LOST to get me all the way until summer, can you work on the timing please?
I need some real help. Some real opinions. Good or bad, bring it.
I do all the laundry. I sort it, wash it, fold it, and put it into three baskets for each of my kids. Their only responsibilities in the laundry process are to bring the dirty clothes down and put their baskets away. With the exception of a few times when I ask them to cycle the laundry, I do all of it. I’ve been noticing that no one has been taking down the basket or putting away their laundry. It’s really the only two things they have to do in the entire process. They have to bring the laundry to me, and put it away when I’m done, get it?
I made a declaration (I make a ton of them, unfortunately) last week that if they didn’t start bringing their clothes down or putting their baskets away then they would have to start doing all their laundry. They’re 14, 11, and 9. I’m obviously not going to leave them with dirty clothes, but can you meet me halfway? They’re supposed to bring it down on Saturdays and Wednesdays, take their basket of clean clothes when I’m done, bring me the empty one, and the process starts all over. It’s not rocket science, people, it’s laundry.
I went down Sunday night and Kasey and Lindsey had full baskets of clean clothes that had been there since Thursday, there was a completely full dirty clothes basket upstairs, and I had enough. Shelby had taken her basket up on Friday, but I announced to Kasey and Lindsey that they were now responsible for doing their laundry. In all fairness, I’ve been threatening this for weeks, I have to stop threatening and follow through. But the question I’m wondering is if it’s too harsh. I know there are people out there that make their kids do all their own laundry, and I know they’ll need to know how to do it eventually, but I’m just at a point that I can’t do it all.
I saw Marley & Me this summer and asked the question if it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. In my original post I talked about Max and Spirit and how Spirit died shortly after we got him. We had to put Max to sleep yesterday. It’s the worst decision anyone should ever have to make. But he was in pain, he had gotten mean, and he was a bully to our other dog, Angel.
But life goes on. It’s always fascinated me but life does go on. Here’s our Angel in her new bed.
Angel in her new bed
You can tell she’s sad (when she’s not sleeping). She’s mopey and she hasn’t realized the benefit of not having to fight for her food. She stays mostly in the kitchen sniffing around. She’s looking for Max. I think we all are.
I promise I’ll be fun Christy by next week. Things HAVE to get better. They really do!
